Paul P. Darling

Our classmate, Paul Darling, was a terrific athlete, treasured friend, French jock, brother in Kappa Sigma fraternity, and member of Dragon senior society. I didn't know anyone who wasn't fond of Paul. I remember during graduation week, among all the celebrations and festivities, being asked if I knew where Paul Darling was. The questions persisted throughout the week, and it was apparent that Paul was missing, and his family was, understandably, frantic.

Fast forward to 1977. While driving home in Monterey, CA, I saw jogging on the broad sidewalk of the La Mesa military housing complex a stocky, blonde-haired guy, in a gold t-shirt and red shorts (U.S. Marine Corps colors)…it was Paul Darling! It was as if I had seen a ghost! I couldn't even get my wits together enough to stop the car. A few days later the same apparition, but this time I pulled to the road side well ahead, got out of the car, confronted the running Marine, and he shouted "Ed Long." I shouted back "Paul Darling, where have you been?"

Paul had realized in June 1966 that he would not be able to graduate with his Dartmouth class, and ran away to Europe, bummed around for a while and then the draft board caught up with him. He returned, and rather than be drafted, he enlisted in the Marine Corps. And what a splendid Marine he became! He was wounded in combat in Viet Nam and was commissioned as an officer. Paul never talked much about these experiences, so it is unclear which came first, the Purple Heart or the gold bar of a Second Lieutenant. He eventually received his Dartmouth degree, for which, I remember him telling me, he was grateful for the way Dartmouth treated him, with respect and admiration. Paul's intelligence brought him to Monterey, the Naval Postgraduate School, and into a curriculum, operations research/systems analysis, that was regarded as the toughest on campus and the most respected of its kind in the nation. Later he would say to me that he "felt comfortable with numbers."

It turned out that we were living only a block away from one another. He and his wife Joanne and two very young sons (they wouldn't know me from Adam), Sean and Brian, were in a single family home in Navy housing. My family and I had a similar arrangement. These were the nicest "quarters" either of us had ever had and we relished the experience of academic rigor and California lifestyle, (knowing we could never on our salaries, in our wildest dreams, have been able to afford to live there permanently).

Paul and I reconnected in the DC area in later years. I came and went, but I think Paul stayed with the USMC in DC. He earned a PhD and became an expert in logistics, as I recall. He and Joanne had a third child, son Kevin.

Paul was very proud of his Marine Corps. We were his invited guests to more than one USMC birthday celebration, and I remember well an evening in DC when the Commandant of the Marine Corps introduced the Secretary of the Navy, John Lehman, as guest speaker. It was a big deal! I was proud to be there and grateful to Paul for the invitation.

The last time I saw Paul was on a sunny day on the Washington DC capital green. He was playing rugby on the Old Boy's side for the West Potomac Rugby Football Club. The year was 1985. He was the picture of health and vitality, and he ran over to shake hands.

Fast forward again. After years of silence, Paul contacted the Dartmouth Class newsletter from Switzerland. He and I corresponded, and he told me his youngest son made the Penn State University varsity football team as a wide receiver. Paul said, "He's pretty fast for a white guy, I guess!"

Meanwhile, mutual classmate, Bill Gruver, and I along with our wives had been attending Penn State football games every year since 1989, AND the Gruvers had spent their summers in Switzerland/Northern Italy for years.

So…I suggested they look up Paul Darling. And they did…

Have any of you ever been pursued by Ed Long (on or off the football field)? Well, I have! Were it not for Ed's dogged determination, I never would have made plans to see Paul. True, Paul, Ed and I were all friends from Dragon (did I just reveal the membership of a secret society?), but it had been 38 years since I last saw Paul. We all have busy lives. Did I really want to drag my family across the Alps to western Switzerland to see someone who might not even remember me?

Nevertheless, more to get Ed off my back than any burning desire to see Paul, we made plans to see Paul at his home in La Lecherette in August, 2004. From the moment we arrived I felt like I had gone through a time warp and met myself from a prior life. Paul loved teaching and living in the mountains; I love teaching and living in the mountains. Paul lived with a dog as if they were best friends; anyone who has received an email from me knows how I feel about dogs. Paul had started his post Dartmouth life in the military and was winding down his working years as a civilian university professor- the same career end points as mine.

We chatted as if it had been 38 days, not 38 years, since we last saw or spoke to each other. Paul's bookshelves were filled with books and magazines that I had read. How could we be this much alike after all that time? He proudly showed me his Dartmouth degree and told me the story of how he received it years after missing our commencement ceremony in June, 1966. He was deeply appreciative of the Dartmouth administration that had accepted his correspondence course credits from a non Ivy League institution to qualify him to complete the requirements.

The only thing missing in Paul's life was a Colby girl – oops , I meant to say a loving female companion. This was quickly solved by Joan, my wife, when a few short months later she made an email introduction between Paul and our friend, Debra Johnson. Paul remained true to the form he displayed from his days on the football field and rugby pitch (straight ahead frontal assault) so by the spring of 2005 (about six months after having been introduced via email), he and Deb were living together in La Lecherette. A few short months later they were married when back in the states for the Christmas holidays. It was a fairy tale story. Paul's infectious grin was on full display!

Ed and I tried our best to get Paul to return to the U.S. the following autumn to see his son Kevin play his last home game at Penn State. It was not going to happen. Paul's health declined quickly from then on. Our story with Paul is a testimony to a man's man who remained true to himself from the day we first met in September 1962 until the day he died earlier this year. Paul had the artistry to dream, the brains to do anything he set his mind to accomplish, the bulldog-like determination to achieve his goals and the good humor to make all around him happy and thankful to be in his company. Our story is also a testimony to the formative influence of an institution. Even though we were only together those four years, Dartmouth brought us together and molded us into what we are today and will be forever.

– Ed Long and Bill Gruver